Lost

This might be the most personal blog yet but feel like I need to write it.  Recently my depression has been getting worse and tonight I had a nervous and emotional breakdown and even though I can't get into it I ended up hurting a few people and right now I am devistated.   The reason that I am writing this is not to get attention but to bring awareness and I also need to let it out. I made a mistake of not taking my meds for my depression combined with being tired and stressed its not a good combination and one that won't be repeated. Ended up crying and freaked out now I just feel alone and feel that I don't deserve love and Jesus. My faith has been shaken and I feel Jesus hates me among others. My message to those who has a mental illness is to take treatment, talk about what's stressing you, meditate ( which I will be starting tomorrow and also journaling).   Hoping tomorrow will be a better day. Talked to the mental health line twice, didn't take away all the pain and the beat up for those whom I caused pain but hoping they will still want me in their lives and forgive me